Journal of Groan

groan @ 2007-12-28T18:23:00

2007-12-28T18:23:58Z

I know I am not very well and have a bit of a temperature, but someone - please - reassure me that Anne Robinson playing The Weakest Link with a bunch of soft toys was indeed a feverish hallucination and not, contrary to appearances, prime time output from the world's greatest public service broadcasting organisation.

I despair.

Otter

2007-05-07T10:07:00Z

Otter
Originally uploaded by groan.

As part of the preliminaries to my birthday I went to London Zoo yesterday (more pics on flickr).

I think my favourites were the otters - there was a whole host of 'em - scampering and mewling and generally being very entertaining. Hurrah for litheness!

I also went to Bertorelli for dinner which was a much less agreeable experience. The restaurant was full, so we ate in the "Caffe" downstairs. The service was slow (a couple next to us had been waiting 45 minutes for their starter) - the portions were tiny (I had veal milanese and the spaghetti came in a dish about half the size of a small saucer) - and the tables were cramped.

I complained and got a 15% reduction, which was a barely adequate gesture. I chatted with the waiter - who was charming, but clearly wildly over-stretched - and he mentioned that they were having problems in the kitchen with a new chef.

On the way out we saw Alan "may he live forever" Rickman on his way in - we almost warned him off, but didn't. Should have done really. Ah well.

groan @ 2006-10-12T15:59:00

2006-10-12T14:59:18Z

I'm playing with the Google Docs and Spreadsheet stuff which claims direct publishing to Livejournal.

groan @ 2006-04-18T17:25:00

2006-04-18T16:24:47Z

Bored of cooking? The recipes on this site may well change your mind..... visit "pimp my snack" for inspiration... :-)

groan @ 2006-04-14T11:26:00

2006-04-14T10:26:53Z

Listening to Radio 4 and tidying the house and gently seething... There is a programme on about the military base that the US occupying troops have built on the archaeological ruins at Babylon... including a helipad and (why does this remind me of a song?) a parking lot. Oh and they used archaeological debris to fill the sandbags for their defences. Oh and scraped away the surface to lay a compacted (and chemically treated) gravel bed on which to build their station houses (or whatever the term is).

Gotta love 'em for their cultural sensitivity.

groan @ 2006-04-06T18:55:00

2006-04-06T17:55:14Z

erialc mention Pandora Radio on her journal - I commend it to you: it really is veh good indeed.

groan @ 2006-04-01T01:34:00

2006-04-01T00:34:27Z

I went to see Basic Instinct 2 this evening - largely because I wanted to go to the movies and it was that or Hostel. It was a truly terrible movie with absolutely no redeeming features at all. Dull, uninventive, stilted, unerotic, unthrilling, un-everything. I should have stayed home and sorted my sock drawer.

groan @ 2006-03-29T23:45:00

2006-03-29T22:45:20Z

I was listening to a programme on Radio 4 this evening about decommissioning the Dounreay nuclear power plant. It was built not to produce power, but as an experimental site to figure out how fast breeder reactors could produce plutonium and other nasssty stuff. Anyway. The original estimate was that it would take about 100 years to decommision the reactor, but the new goal is to do it in 30 years.

The programme interviewed a charming man who seemed completely unfazed by the fact that much of the technology needed to take the reactor apart doesn't yet exist. Nor did he seem especially worried about the "something or other" that was stuck inside the reactor which meant they couldn't actually move lots of the stuff in the way they thought they could. He didn't even seem worried by the prospect of having to pump out and neutralise the 60 metric tons of NAK (a sodium [Na] and potassium [K] mix used to cool the reactor) even though it was now radioactive and spontaneously ignites when exposed to air or water.

He did have the good grace to sound slightly concerned by the access shaft that had been turned into a waste shaft in the late 60's into which they used to pour low level radioactive waste and - ahem - half-used cannisters of acetylene. He admitted - a little ruefully - that, yes, there had been a bit of an explosion in the shaft in 1977, but it wasn't really all that serious. Probably.

He got a little more shifty when pressed about the various types of waste that needed to be disposed of. The low level waste has to be contained for about 500 years. The really nasty stuff however has to be kept "isolated" 100,000 years. And there's a bunch of intermediate waste that sort of fits somehwere along the scale between 500 and 100,000 years before it is "safe". He did point out that - geologically speaking - ten thousand centuries is not all that long.

They also interviewed a chap who used to work as the "Health Physics" meister at the plant. His job was to specify where the various noxious by-products from the reactor should be stored - classing them as low level, intermediate or high-active. The only trouble was - he averred - that he was regarded by all and sundry as a bit of a kill-joy, so they often didn't tell him when they were tipping away surreptitous lorry-loads of slurry, mixing a bit of high and intermediate in with the low level - as you do.

Sigh.

It was a great - and (bizarrely) rather comforting piece of radio - not least because the chap charged with sorting out this godawful mess seemed to be very capable and was working on the basis that all of the horror stories were true.

You can listen to the first part here - I shall be tuning in to the second part next week.

groan @ 2006-03-14T10:19:00

2006-03-14T10:19:42Z

My new (work) PC has arrived and - joy of joys - seems to have all my old data on it too. As far as I can tell, it's exactly the same as the old PC - but not so grubby.

groan @ 2006-03-03T14:23:00

2006-03-03T14:23:37Z

Review of Crime & Punishment from Bromley Times

LAST week's production at the Bromley Little Theatre provided audiences with a rare opportunity to see Rodney Ackland's impressive stage adaptation of Dostoevsky's powerful and complex novel Crime and Punishment, writes Roy Atterbury.

The play was written during the so called Nihilist period in Russia and for the writer's anti-hero, a student called Raskolnikov, this meant that the majority of human beings had virtually no use other than to procreate and, on rare occasions, produce supreme beings who were totally above the law and social conventions.

As a result, he casually murders two female pawnbrokers - considering them to be no more than social parasites. The aftermath, however, plays havoc with his state of mind and his story becomes a psychological drama that plumbs the depths of mental anguish.

The play has 22 different characters and the action is set in a dingy lodging house somewhere in St Petersburg, Russia, during the late 19th century.

With so many actors appearing in some scenes, the two directors (Viv Noot and Peter March) choreographed the settings with real skill while Noot's set design was exceptional as were the costumes from Andrea Gambell and Christine Wilson. There was a powerful Russian atmosphere throughout.

Much of the play mirrors Dostoevsky's own unhappy life and the concept of mixing the former rich with the constantly poor people living in the lodging house highlighted the fact that poverty can be an ephemeral phenomenon that makes a mockery of class divides.

Justin Pledger was magnetic in the role of the young student who found he had no means of coping with the Hell that was of his own making.

His one saviour was the unlikely love of a young woman (Ariana Barnes) who had been forced into prostitution in order to pay for the food and lodging that kept her dying step-mother (Abi Topley) and young step-sister (Lillian Le Sage) alive. The part was acted with remarkable skill and compassion, which fully complemented the undoubted talents of Justin Pledger.

However, always threatening to dominate the action, Howard Wilson gave two magnificent performances, firstly as a permanently drunk former civil servant and secondly as the chief of police. Very different roles but superb acting in both. Dominic Howell and Row Mafham also added to the many talents on view.

Abi Topley was also outstanding in the role of a woman who could not forget her pampered past while Sue Parker-Nutley created a real dragon of a woman in her role as the German owner of the lodging house.

A disturbing play with few ineffectual moments, a strong portrait of life in Tsarist Russia, and a compelling view of misconceived political and social dogma and the horror of thwarted passions.

groan @ 2006-02-27T00:03:00

2006-02-27T00:03:49Z

So the play is done..... I wonder what I will do with my evenings now? C&P has occupied pretty much every spare moment since rehearsals started back on January 3rd. It's going to be strange not having it about.

I am very, very happy with how it turned out. Everything came together very nicely: a great acting company (albeit with some stronger than others), a fabulous back stage crew who did what they had to do with great professionalism, and - in some ways, mos importantly - a top notch lighting designer.

We played to very good houses throughout the run - especially considering that C&P is not a title likely to appeal to our audience demographic (think 70+ and pink rinses) - we were completely sold out on Friday (apparently unheard of) and on Saturdaythere were no more than 3 or 4 empty seats. Overall we averaged about 65% sold - which is good going for February :-)

I'm too knackered to write anything meaningful at the moment - but here's a link to the first review - follow the link on "Reviews".

I do want to mention what the company bought me as a "thank you" - because it is very lovely. I got a copy of Crime & Punishment signed by all the members of the company and - a small lead soldier. But no ordinary lead soldier: in the text, one of the lodgers mentions that he is a former member of the "Prorokanjenski Guard" so someone in the company tracked this down and managed to find a specialist collectible shop which - on special request - imported a model of a Prorokanjenski guardsman from Russia - beautifully modelled and hand-painted. It is a lovely memento - I'm very touched :-)

Now I shall sleep. The strike is done - the stage is cleared and all that remains in a cd rom with 615 photos from the show and a couple of DV video tapes that I have yet to get transferred onto any useful format.

Tired but happy.

groan @ 2006-02-08T18:16:00

2006-02-08T18:16:18Z

Just over a week before first night. Happily, all is looking good. Last night's rehearsal fair zipped along and managed to deliver genuine moments of scariness, humour and heart-wrenching sadness. It is an enormous pleasure to see my vague mental images brought to life on stage - I understand now why people love directing (despite its many frustrations and infuriations).

If anyone fancies coming to see Crime & Punishment, it runs at Bromley Little Theatre from Friday 17th Feb - Saturday 25th Feb (no performance on Sunday). Tickets are around £7.00 and the theatre has a decent bar. The theatre is "members only" but I can get you in as my guest. If you're interested, please reply here or drop me a mail - groan at livejournal dot com.

groan @ 2006-01-30T17:16:00

2006-01-30T17:16:22Z

I've been on holiday today!!! Hurrah!!! But before you all get too excited - I spent my day set-building down at the theatre. I am now the proud owner of a variety of blisters, splinters and minor cuts and abrasions. Oh, and a back ache.

The trouble is, the set (which I designed - oh foolish me!) calls for the rear half of the stage to be a raised platform around two feet high. On the nifty little set design program I found on t'interweb, constructing this platform was a doddle (it mainly involved, clicking, pointing and pressing enter - with a bit of dragging and "click-to-shape"-ing).

The reality was somewhat different, involving lugging rostra from the Dark Place of Spiders beneath the stage, through a small gap onto the stage and then using frames, braces, trunions, jibs, and joists to hold the whole thing together. Thank Gawd for Bert - the set builder - who is a marvel with an electric screwdriver and has - to my mind - teh Right Way of Looking at Things - "That's a bit of a gap, innit? Doesn't really fit, does it? Nevermind - saw up some of that ply and we'll hammer some in to fill up the space and stick a couple more screws in." Marvellous!

Anyway, after a long, long day that involved assembling twelve 4'x2' rostra, six 2'x2' rostra, four 10'x6' rostra, assorted lengths of 2x4 timber and even some 6x3 and many, many, many screws (two fully charged powerdriver battery's worth) we now have a very solid acting platform for the show offs to strut their stuff on. Hurrah! Tomorrow the flats go up (or possibly Tuesday) but the good news is that it is sufficiently built to start rehearsing on stage right now!

Less than three weeks to go. I feel slightly sick. :-)

groan @ 2006-01-14T12:32:00

2006-01-14T12:32:03Z

I am trying to make the most of my One Free Day of the week (all the other days being consumed by either work or rehearsals).

I got up early and have been to Tesco. This sounds dull, but is actually a Good Thing, as my diet this week (post-rehearsal) has consisted solely of eating crisps and biscuits.

I have bought monkfish and parma ham and tonight I plan to wrap the former in the latter and roast it, drizzled with olive oil and garlic and lemon marinade (thanks to Mr. Oliver and his marvellous pear-shaped, acrylic mortar and pestle-shakey-thing - of which I am growing quite fond).

Have just had a lovely chat with etcher who has - quite rightly - chastised me for falling off the no-smoking wagon. I must buy more patches.

Now the Dyson beckons.

groan @ 2006-01-13T17:11:00

2006-01-13T17:11:23Z

Stolen from terriem

Here are the current top 50 books from www.whatshouldireadnext.com. Bold the books you have read. Italicise the books you might read. Underline the books you probably won't read. Pass it on:

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter 6) - J.K. Rowling
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Book 3) - J.K. Rowling
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Book 4) - J.K. Rowling
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter 5) - J.K. Rowling
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Book 1) - J.K. Rowling
Neuromancer - William Gibson
Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Book 2) - J.K. Rowling
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Ender's Game (The Ender Saga) - Orson Scott Card
Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman
Atonement - Ian McEwan
The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert

Get book recommendations from real people at www.whatshouldireadnext.com

groan @ 2006-01-11T18:10:00

2006-01-11T18:10:20Z

Just back from Dublin and putting on my jodphurs and monocle ready to go out and direct a rehearsal. What I really want to do is go to bed.

Still the hotel was as nice as I remember. I like it when you check in to a hotel and the receptionist says "Hallo Mr Groan, we haven't seen you for a while - will a room overlooking the garden like last time be ok?". I know it's meaningless (or at least it means that they keep their databases for a long time, 'cos it's been at least 4-5 years since I have been there) but it still makes a chap feel welcomed. Bravo and hurrah!

groan @ 2006-01-09T08:55:00

2006-01-09T08:55:31Z

Am now largely recovered from the Gastric Gymnastics that have characterised the past few days - a blessed relief - and am getting ready to leap on a plane and head of to Dublin for two nights for a series of Important Meetings to discuss the submissions from Large International Software Vendors.

The Good Thing about this trip - other than the unmitigated joy of spending 48 hours talking about IT stuff - is that I get to stay at one of my favourite hotels. I've only been there once before, but I remember it as everything a good hotel should be - comfortable, welcoming and very well appointed - it's a pity I shall only be there to sleep.

groan @ 2006-01-07T12:22:00

2006-01-07T12:21:51Z

The Curse of the Pineapple continues to haunt me although in slightly less spectacular fashion. The stomach cramps have faded and I am even contemplating rather daringly eating a slice of dry toast. I may even sip some tepid water. If that experiment goes well, I plan to spend the rest of the day huddled on the sofa watching DVDs and looking pale and interesting. Exhausted by the exertion this involves, I fully expect to be back in bed by mid-afternoon.

groan @ 2006-01-06T18:11:00

2006-01-06T18:11:11Z

When I got in from rehearsal last night I sloshed down about half a carton pineapple juice that was in the fridge. About an hour later I woke up, cold and sweating with agonising stomach cramps and dashed to the loo where I threw up. This fun scenario repeated itself throughout the night at approximately hourly intervals.

At some point this morning I checked the carton of juice which - you guessed it - had a use-by date of 24 December. You will recall that I blamed my gastric challenges of earlier this week on unwisely sampling some smelly French cheese I had bought as a Christmas treat. I now realise the same carton of juice was to blame for that.

I have been asleep most of the day. I tentaitvely drank a glass of water a while ago and ominous roilings are making themselves known in the stomach department.

I feel very, very sorry for myself.

groan @ 2005-12-27T13:52:00

2005-12-27T13:51:57Z

Yesterday was lovely.

I was invited chez etcher for Boxing Day lunch (lovely soup and a splendid slection of cheeses and mince pies) followed by an outing to The Old Vic to see Aladdin (yes - the one with Sir Ian McKellen). It was dead good - Himself was marvellous - a sort of cross between Les Dawson and Christopher Biggins - I shall never be able to take him seriously as Gandalf again!

Post-show we (Em's Mum, Dad and brother were there too) returned for a post show cold collation: turkey, sausages, bacon, pork pie, salad and - joy of joys - pickled walnuts (which only ever taste good at Christmas time).

Today I am going to see King Kong, and tomorrow to Suzanne's for another Christmas meal! Hurrah!

groan @ 2005-12-10T12:53:00

2005-12-10T12:53:07Z

Home. Jet lagged. Cat frenzy of joy to see me. Tired. Need to sleep. Drink tea. Arrghhhh. Jet lag. *mumble mumble*

groan @ 2005-12-05T05:07:00

2005-12-05T05:07:54Z

I seem to be in New York.

I have had a hissy fit with the hotel cos the room they gave me was vile and didn;t have internet access and now I have a junior suite. It's still a horrid room, but it is a bigger horrid room, with working internet and no dodgy looking stains on the carpet.

I must sleep now.

Meh.

groan @ 2005-12-04T12:21:00

2005-12-04T12:20:57Z

1. Do you like Chinese food?
Yes - there is an excellent Chinese/Malaysian nearby that has taken a substantial amount of my salary.

2. How big is your bed?
King Size.

3. Is your room clean?
Like time, clean is a relative concept. If I have time and the relatives are coming, I clean.

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
Both. Laptop for werk, Desktop for home.

5. Favorite comedian?
Possibly Groucho Marx. Possibly Billy Connelly. Possibly Eddie Izzard.

6. Do you smoke?
Not any more - except in my dreams.

7. Sleep with or without clothes on?
Au nature.

8. Who sleeps with you every night?
Flynn. He's small, wiry and hairy and he loves it when I stroke him. Oh - and he's a cat.

9. Do long distance relationships work?
Depends on what the relationship is - but rarely.

10. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Once, because they couldn't believe that a clapped out VW Beetle could go that fast. They simply wanted to express their admiration :-)

11. Pancakes or French Toast?
Pancakes.

12. Do you like coffee?
Yes.

13. How do you like your eggs?
Fried with bacon. Or you could just feed me the bacon.

14. Do you believe in astrology?
Bits of it.

15. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Emma

16. Last person on your missed call list?
Nat - a colleague from work.

17. What was the last text message you received?
"Be safe and have a good trip"

18. Mcdonalds or Burger King?
Burger King - but very, very rarely.

19. Number of pillows?
Two. goose down.

20. What are you hearing right now?
The hum of my desktop.

21. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?
They sat together in the park
As the evening sky grew dark
She looked at him and he felt a spark
Tingle to his bones.
Twas then he felt alone
And wished that he'd gone straight
And watched out for a simple twist of fate.

22. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Strawberry.

23. Can you play pool?
Nope.

24. Do you know how to swim?
Nope.

25. Favorite ice cream?
Ben and Jerry's

26. Do you like maps?
Yessssssssssssssssss - we loves them.

27. Tell me a random fact about yourself:
I am changing for the better.

28. Ever play spin the bottle?
No. I only play drain the bottle.

29. Ever attend a theme party?
Nope.

30. What is your favorite season?
Autumn

31. Favorite quote?
I shall wait for you forever if you are not too long.

33. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
A comment that a big (and dysfunctional) IT system was "reassuringly expensive".

34. What time did you wake up this morning?
8.30am

35. Best thing about winter?
Frost.

36. Last time a cop gave you a ticket?
I've never had one.

37. What do you find most attractive about the opposite sex?
Their minds.

38. Name of your first pet?
Mitzi - a daschund.

39. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
They're dandy - especially Johnny.

40. What are you doing this weekend?
Engaging in displacement activities when I should be packing to fly New York.

groan @ 2005-11-21T13:34:00

2005-11-21T13:34:20Z

Haven't posted for too long. Tsk. Bad me.

Lots has been happening, most of it good, if hard.

I've been doing stuff on Crime and Punishment. A couple of people have dropped out - including Nastasia, the maid. This was a bit of a blow, because the actress who was going to play her would have been fabby - but I've re-cast and am hopeful that the new actress will be good too - albeit in a different, more pointy way.

I've been trying to organise the first read through, which is shaping up for early December. By then I need to have finalised the rehearsal schedules so that everyone can start organising their lives. I'm not looking forward to sorting that schedule out - which is probably why I haven't got round to it yet - I suspect it is going to require n-dimensional thought and the skills of a school-timetabler *sigh*.

In other news: I like this cold weather: it feels Right.

groan @ 2005-10-18T08:27:00

2005-10-18T07:27:46Z

I am in Germany and I am feeling grumpy. The flight yesterday was delayed by three hours because of fog. Or possibly because pilots were dazzled by the brilliant sunshine streaming from a cloudless sky. Anyway.

The hotel is vile. A concrete monstrosity in a business district kept at a nice even temperature of around 85 degrees. Lovely.

Still I had salami for breakfast, so it's not all bad :-)